New Year, Same Work in Progress
An Honest Take on (Still) Being a Hot Mess
The internet is full of New Year, New Me posts right now. Goals this time year center life changes as improvements. Gym memberships rise, health food becomes the rage, and therapists’ waiting lists become even longer. The beginning of a new year seems like the perfect time to make all the changes you thought about the year before. But here's a radical thought: what if we didn't try to reinvent ourselves just because the calendar changed?
2024 in Perspective
Last year brought more transitions than I can count. It was a year of stumbling and learning, of small victories and quiet epiphanies.
And for 2025? I'm doing something that sounds simple but isn’t. I'm choosing to keep going.
No total transformation: just steady, intentional progress.
Keeping it Real in 2025
I don’t have unrealistic expectations that this is going to be “my year.” That’s a lot of pressure I don’t need. Instead, I am going to keep going. That’s it. I want to build on what I have been working on. How will that look?
Maintaining habits that serve me well, adjusting the ones that don’t
Understanding that rest isn't lazy, wrong, or the opposite of progress – it's essential to it
Learning that boundaries are bridges to better relationships and peace of mind
Sounds easy, right?
No, these tasks have been incredibly challenging.
Questions that Live Rent-Free in My Mind
Why is it so easy to give others grace but impossible to offer it to myself?
What is my self-love language?
Who do I count on for emotional and spiritual support and why?
Why is it so hard to cry freely?
How can boundaries help me live a happier, more peaceful life?
If I had a dime for every time I changed the answers to those questions, and a quarter for every time I got angry that I was asking myself the same damn question, I would never have to work a day in my life.
They aren't just rhetorical questions; they are a life’s work. They wake me up at 3 AM, surface during quiet moments and demand attention when I’m trying to focus on other things. They make me a constant student and teacher of my own life.
About Those Boundaries…
For my paid subscribers who have joined me exploring boundaries the last few months, thank you. It’s been helpful having this safe space to discover boundaries as a tool for stronger communication, strengthening important relationships, and most importantly, self-love. Helpful does not mean easy and it will be a focus for years to come, but it has been the start to so much self-discovery.
The Lesson So Far
Personal growth is as natural and necessary as breathing. Some days it flows easily, other days it feels like taking a breath through a sinus infection - nothing but phlegm. Both kinds of days are valid and necessary.
I'm a work in progress and always will be.
I’m not a before-and-after story, or a transformation timeline, just a human being doing her best to grow a little each day.
Some days that means taking a nap without guilt (still working on that one), other days it means crying when I need to, or dancing to my favorite Bad Bunny banger to feel better. In other words, feeling like a hot mess in progress isn't a temporary state to overcome, but a beautiful, chaotic, ongoing journey.
New Year, Same Hot Mess may be my life’s declaration and that’s OK as long as I remain a work in progress.
What's your take on the New Year? Are you feeling the pressure to transform, or are you also finding peace in continuing your journey?
Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Hey friends - I'm part of this cool group called the Iowa Writers' Collaborative. If you're curious what other hot messes (just kidding, they're actually amazing writers) are up to check out our latest Roundup. Fair warning: you might find yourself going down a really good rabbit hole of local perspectives and stories.