You don’t have to be boundaryless to be loved. - Nedra Glover Tawwab, MSW, LCSW, & author.
I stared at Tawwab’s quote for a long time. Logically, it makes sense, but it clashes with my decades of people-pleasing. How can such a simple statement feel so correct and uncomfortable at the same time?
Recently, I set a boundary with a loved one. Afterwards, rather than relief, I felt a rush of sadness and guilt. Their reaction was defensive, she passed blame, took no accountability, and gaslighted me. I expected that reaction, but it didn’t make it any less hurtful.
Here is a paraphrase of how it went when I shared with my therapist about the conversation (she had been helping me prepare):
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